Afraid?

So I think I have a problem.  Every time some amazing guy comes into my life, I push them away.  I know I'm afraid of commitment, but that's not even what these boys are necessarily asking for.  They just want to take me out and have fun, but I can't even let them enjoy that.  Is it because I subconsciously know I'm really in love with Loaiza so I don't want to even have anyone else try??  That just seems ridiculous though.  Andrew probably doesn't even realize how much I like him.  Really really like him.  A lot a lot.  And it's pathetic that I like him so much, right?  No.  Because seriously I just love how amazing he is.  He's my dream guy no doubt.  But is it terrible that I can't enjoy the company of other guys who want to take me out and treat me right while me and him are 5 hours away and we haven't even verbalized the feelings between us??  Ah I just need to chill.  And talk to Andrew.....  I just don't know how to do it because we already don't talk a lot since we're both busy with school and work.

Everything has to work out though.  It just has to.  And then everything will be okay.